"You get what you tolerate and what you allow by going along when you know it's wrong."
— James McPartland
People take positions to protect their concerns – what is most important to them. Put another way, the fear of loss of the known has a greater value than the benefit and potential upside of the unknown.
Limiting the size of the goals we pursue leads to a life of dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment. Your goals are manipulated by your surroundings, and if I asked your 5 closest associates – or simply watched them to learn their goals – chances are I would know your goals too. If you live a life based on what others think is possible, you will never know the depth of your own potential.
Playing it safe, and playing not to lose, are traits demonstrated by people who assume the role of a victim. This form of insecurity assigns responsibility for many aspects of their life to outside factors, thus diminishing their power over their own circumstances. Negativity, excuses, blame, and justifying results are the tolerating types of behaviors that keep people from moving their life forward. Further, these behaviors can hold back teammates, projects, and the wellbeing of an entire organization.
Effective leaders go toward issues. Until you decide that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life, you will not take the action steps required to master the game of life. Your life is truly in your own hands.
An exciting and inspiring vision of your future self has to be strong enough that you will no longer tolerate, resist, or allow yourself to accept the person you have been. Your goal has to be more valuable than the risk. If it’s not, you’ve simply chosen the wrong goal. Your aspirations must stretch you, expand you, inspire you, and (most certainly) scare you.
Resistance arises on the path to every significant endeavor – every big goal. If you align your vision by what you are willing to push past, you must practice the key exercise required to substantially lower your tolerance levels: Persistence
Persistence is the ability to push on and push past setbacks, unexpected events, opposition and criticism. To continue with conviction – despite fear – and in spite of difficult conditions. It is something to be developed and fortified with practice.
Here are 4 steps to build your persistence muscle:
1.) Figure out exactly what you want
Define it in quantifiable language.
Set a date for completion.
Determine the daily activities required to bring this goal to life.
Identify what you will have to overcome along the way.
2.) Remind yourself of why you are doing this
Make the "why" clear enough so that the goal is non-negotiable.
Repeat your goals daily, ideally in the morning and the evening.
Identify whom in your life benefits from this goal being realized.
Set your tolerance level to low.
3.) Define and practice key habits
Focus on keystone habits (i.e. exercise, meditation, reading).
Set and measure metrics – daily activities to accomplish.
Don't feel pressured to get your habits perfect – just get them going.
Model habits of those who have achieved similar goals.
4.) Practice gratitude
Morning exercise: Identify 3 things you are most grateful for.
Evening exercise: Acknowledge and appreciate your 3 most valuable lessons of the day.
Daily activity: Let someone you are grateful for – know you are grateful for them.
Appreciate yourself: Know that along the path of your pursuit you will positively influence those around you.
In every situation, you have the opportunity to act – and if you don't, you will be acted upon. Success is a result of everything you think about, do, and take responsibility for. You are the source, the generator, the origin, and the reason for EVERYTHING – both positive and negative.
If you don't go into each day and do everything in your power to succeed – then you are stealing from your family, your friends, the people who need you, your customers, and most importantly – your SELF, your PRESENT, and your FUTURE.
Just remember – you get what you tolerate. But if you work on strengthening your persistence muscle, you will learn to lower your tolerance for anything that gets in the way of you achieving your dreams.