Where company culture actually lives (It’s not where you think)

"It’s not how you talk about your values that define your culture. It’s how you respond when no one’s watching."— James McPartland

Culture doesn’t live in your mission statement, your company values poster, or the all-hands meeting slides. It lives in the in-between moments—the everyday stuff most people overlook.

It lives in the spaces most leaders overlook - the quick hallway conversations, the Slack messages sent after hours, the way people respond when deadlines slip, or how teams react when no one's watching.

These gaps between the formal and informal, between the stated and the lived experience, are where culture truly takes root and flourishes - or withers.

Think about the last time you walked into a restaurant. Before you even tasted the food, you likely formed an impression based on dozens of subtle cues - from how the host greets you, cleanliness of the tables, the body language of the staff, the ambient noise level. It’s the vibe. And whether it’s welcoming, tense, or totally chaotic, it shapes your entire experience. Business culture works the same way. People feel it before they ever see it. 

When a team member misses a deadline, the culture reveals itself not in the official response, but in the tone of the follow-up conversation. When someone shares a half-formed idea in a meeting, culture shows up in the micro-expressions and subtle reactions of their colleagues. When a mistake happens, culture manifests in the whispered conversations that follow, not in the formal post-mortem.

These moments - these gaps - are where trust is built or broken, where psychological safety is established or eroded, where innovation is nurtured or stifled.

They're the difference between a team that takes risks and one that plays it safe, between employees who speak up and those who stay silent, between a company that learns from failure and one that hides from it.

Even something as simple as a manager’s response to a new idea—“Tell me more” vs. “We tried that already”—can either invite innovation or shut it down. One builds momentum, the other kills it.

Same goes for feedback. People think it’s about performance reviews, but honestly? It’s the little comments made in real time that really stick. If someone says “Hey, can I give you some feedback?” with genuine curiosity, that’s a culture builder. But if it’s said with a sigh or a “Well, actually...” that shuts people down fast.

This stuff matters. Because when your team feels safe, respected, and empowered in the small moments, they show up stronger in the big ones. They speak up. They take risks. They go the extra mile, not because they’re told to, but because they want to.

Building a strong culture requires attention to these gaps. It means being intentional about the small moments that most leaders dismiss as insignificant. Every interaction sets a precedent, every response creates a pattern, every moment of silence speaks volumes.

Great culture doesn’t come from one big initiative. It comes from thousands of small, consistent choices. It’s the tone of your everyday communication, the way you handle tension, how you treat people when you don’t have to be nice.

If you’re serious about building a great culture, don’t just look at the big picture. Zoom in. Look at what’s happening in the gaps--  between meetings, after hours, in the unspoken responses and quick exchanges. That’s where the real story lives.

Because at the end of the day, culture isn’t what’s printed on a slide. It’s how your team feels when they close their laptops at night, and whether they want to open them again in the morning.

Mac 😎