“When we judge those we encounter, we are compensating for an internal void that we were silently hoping they would fill.” — James McPartland
You know you have a hole to fill when you find yourself feeling hurt or assigning personal meaning to someone else's words or actions. While we cannot control the language or behavior of another person, we can control our reactions and how our "meaning-making machine" interprets behavior and language. The key to accomplishing this is to intentionally override our internal sense and feeling that "we are not enough" when we feel we are not receiving love or validation from those we engage with.
Each time you give someone the power to build you up with praise, you’re also unknowingly giving that person the power to destroy you with criticism. Know that you are enough. The life journey you are on has led you to this exact point in time. The setbacks you've experienced and the people you've encountered have been the gifts, as they have provided the greatest of life's lessons if you have allowed them to. Everyone is on a path of discovery. Yet too many are focused on mere survival, and no one is able to heal or grow in survival mode. We must learn instead, to thrive. And to do that, we must find fulfillment within and come to understand that we are already validated, accepted, and loved.
So as you go on with your day friend, remember. Don't put another person down or get upset with them for failing to validate you. You never know... they may have been waiting all this time for you to validate them.
