The Secret to Changing the Way We See Others
"We control what we script for other people, and we can always rewrite it."
- James McPartland
You’ve heard me talk about the power of our stories. We write the scripts day in and day out and watch them unfold around us exactly as we say they do.
Well, what if I told you that we also write those scripts for other people in our lives, and they show up exactly how we script them.
We’ve all been to a meeting whether at work or with family and friends and we know who the characters are that will show up. We know what they are going to say, how they are going to act, and whether one will talk over everyone or the one who is always on their phone who obviously doesn’t want to be there. Essentially, you have the meeting before the meeting.
If we write a script of how other people are going to show up, then we will go into those meetings looking for and listening for the story we created, and that is exactly what we will get.
What can I do to change these engagements? Next time you find yourself in one of these meetings ask yourself:
How can I change this dynamic?
Can I change the story in how I see this person?
Are there words I wouldn’t have picked up if I didn’t profile them in a certain way?
Can I change the types of questions I ask?
Am I open to being wrong about something?
The most important thing to remember is that when something is not serving us, we have the opportunity to rewrite the script and change the story.